Wedding FAQ

Rite of Matrimony

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:29:08 -0500

The bride and groom select the appropriate form of the vows and nuptial blessing from this wedding handbook. When the entire bridal party comes forward to the altar steps for this part of the ceremony, the parents remain seated, along with the rest of the congregation. The celebrant will explain the various options of how the bride and groom join hands and face each other for the recitation of their vows. Then the nuptial blessing is imparted to the newly-married couple.

In section four of this wedding handbook, the vows and nuptial blessings are provided. Please use the form at the end of this section to mark your preferences in preparation for your planning session with the priest or deacon.

Wedding Fees

Mon, 1 Mar 2010 19:12:55 -0600

The church offering is $200. Please give the priest or deacon $100 as well. The parish music director's fee is $175 for the ceremony and a music selection meeting. This includes him singing as well. Additional soloists’ fees vary, but usually start at about $100. The fee is $75 for the wedding coordinator. Please discuss any concerns regarding these matters beforehand, especially in cases of genuine financial hardship. Additional fees may be charged for the marriage preparation program or natural family planning class.

The Day of the Wedding

Mon, 1 Mar 2010 19:12:15 -0600

The bridal party should arrive at the church at least 20 minutes before the time of the wedding. The ushers and readers should be present 30 minutes before the wedding for proper instructions. No alcohol may be brought onto church property, and no cigarette smoking is allowed inside the church building.

The Rehearsal

Mon, 1 Mar 2010 19:11:51 -0600

REHEARSAL: Rehearsals are usually scheduled the evening before the wedding at a mutually agreed-upon time. Please be on time for the rehearsal, especially when there is more than one rehearsal on the same evening. For the rehearsal, enter the church by the main entrance at the east of the church only. This is also the only set of doors opened for the wedding as well. YOU MUST BRING YOUR MARRIAGE

LICENSE TO THE REHEARSAL if you have not already given it to the priest or deacon beforehand. For your convenience, you are encouraged to bring the envelopes for the church, the priest or deacon, and the church organist to the rehearsal as well.

Do I Need a Civil Marriage License

Mon, 1 Mar 2010 19:10:40 -0600

Couples must obtain a civil marriage license from DuPage County, since that is where the church is located. Cook County marriage licenses are not valid in DuPage County. The DuPage County Clerk's Office is located at 421 North County Farm Road in Wheaton. The telephone number is (630)682-7035. The office is only open Monday through Friday, between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Both of you must go together to apply for the marriage license, which costs $30. The marriage license is valid the day after you obtain it, and for 60 days thereafter. This expanded time frame somewhat makes up for the inconvenience of possibly having to take a day off from work to go there. But please do not wait to the last minute to get it. Go early to avoid the last minute rush. Also, if you pay an extra $10, the County Clerk will automatically send you a certified copy of your marriage, once it has been filed with them by the church. This document is necessary for changing bank records, driver's licenses, etc.

What Time can My Wedding Be

Mon, 1 Mar 2010 19:08:21 -0600

WEDDING TIMES
Weddings may be celebrated on most Saturdays at 2:00 p.m. Friday evening weddings at about 5:00 p.m. are often possible. Weddings are not scheduled on Sundays at Christ the King Church. When both bride and groom are practicing Catholics, a Mass is usually celebrated (except when a deacon performs the wedding). When one of the parties is not Catholic, a ceremony is usually customary. When one of the parties is not baptized, a ceremony is almost always celebrated. A wedding ceremony without a Mass is still the complete rite of marriage in the Catholic Church. A ceremony lasts about 30 minutes, a Mass lasts about an hour.

Timeline for planning my wedding

Mon, 1 Mar 2010 19:05:34 -0600

6 months (at least) prior to wedding – make initial arrangements. If there was a prior marriage for either party, it may not be possible to set a date at this time.
6-5 months before wedding – provide current copies of Baptismal records.
5 months (at least) prior to wedding – couple should have completed FOCCUS communication tool and feedback session.
4 months (at least) prior to wedding – couple should have attended a marriage preparation program and natural family planning class
3 months (at least) prior to wedding – witness affidavits should be on file.
2 months (at least) prior to wedding – music planning session should be completed –payment to music director is due at this time
1 months (at least) prior to wedding – ceremony planning session should be completed. Payment for church and priest or deacon is due at this time.

Additional Candles and Aisle Candles

Mon, 1 Mar 2010 18:23:33 -0600

Candles: Any extra candles are the responsibility of the bridal party and the florist. Aisle candles are not allowed because they do not attach easily to the pews, they block the view of the congregation, and the candle effect is negated by the video equipment, which requires as much light as possible in the church. A unity candle is really not part of the Catholic ritual as such. If you wish to use it, it should rather be incorporated into the wedding reception by having the bride and groom light it at the beginning of the wedding banquet, after the invocation or before the toast. Otherwise, it may be lighted towards the end of the service.

Alcohol

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:33:24 -0600

No alcoholic beverage is to be consumed on parish grounds. No bottles, cans, containers from any beverage are to be left on parish grounds.

If the bride or groom are found consuming alcoholic beverages prior to the wedding, the priest may refuse to conduct the Rite.

Bridal Party and Ushers

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 18:25:32 -0600

Bridal Party: The bridal party should arrive at least twenty to thirty (or more) minutes early to avoid a last minute rush or delay the beginning of the ceremony. The bride and bridesmaids should go directly to the bridal room for privacy.

The groom and groomsmen may wait either in the main vestibule or the northwest vestibule of the church. The first row of pews is reserved for members of the bridal party.

Ushers: The ushers should arrive at least thirty minutes early to familiarize themselves with the location of the washrooms, etc. The ushers should also direct the members of the bridal party to the place where their flowers are kept.

Ushers should seat guests as soon as possible after they arrive to avoid a last minute rush for seats when the ceremony is about to begin. It is not really necessary for all the bride's guests to sit on the bride's side of the church, or vice-versa. However, the bride=s side is the south side of the church (cf. Mary=s statue), and the groom=s side is the north side of the church (St. Joseph=s statue).

The second row of pews is reserved for the parents of the bride and groom. Check with the parents concerning other pews being reserved for family members, especially grandparents.

About ten minutes before the ceremony is about to begin, the ushers no longer seat any guests. The remaining guests may seat themselves, as the bridal party is lining up to enter the church in procession. If an optional white aisle runner is used, the ushers should pull it down the aisle and out the doors, just before the bridal party enters the church in procession.

Entrance Procession

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 18:27:16 -0600

General Options: There are three options for the entrance procession, which is accompanied by appropriate religious or classical music:

a) Continental Custom: The priest or deacon greets the bridal party at the church door, and leads them up the aisle in procession as couples. The bride and groom enter together first, followed by their parents and the other members of the bridal party as couples. Although this entrance custom is suitable for any couple getting married, this is the recommended format for couples who are already married either outside the Catholic Church, civilly, or by common law.

b) Liturgical Procession: The priest or deacon greets the bridal party at the church door, and leads the groom in first, escorted by his parents. Next come the members of the bridal party in pairs as couples. Finally, the bride enters, escorted by her parents. This is the actual entrance format prescribed in the official liturgical books of the Church. Afterwards, when the groom arrives at the front of the church, but before his parents enter the front pew, the groom may present them with flowers or some other token. The bride may do likewise for her parents when she arrives at the front of the church.

c) American Custom: Before the ceremony begins, the parents of the groom are seated second to last, and the mother of the bride is seated last. The groomsmen come to the altar -- either with the priest / deacon, or from the northwest vestibule -- and wait for the bridesmaids to enter from the church door. The groomsmen may go down the aisle half way to escort the bridesmaids up the aisle the rest of the way. The father of the bride usually accompanies the bride up the aisle, or she may walk up the aisle by herself.

Sometimes, combinations of these three options can be worked out for the entrance procession. Only the best man and the maid of honor enter the sanctuary with the bride and groom as the official witnesses of the Church, with the priest or deacon, to the wedding vows. Additional members of the bridal party do not have a role in the liturgy of the wedding, and are seated in the front pews. These attendants may stand by the altar steps for the exchange of vows and rings, however.

Flowers

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:20:37 -0600

Flowers: All the flowers are the responsibility of the bridal party. The most effective place for flowers in this church is on the floor in front of the altar, which is near the bride and groom=s kneelers. No flowers may be placed on the altar itself. Flowers for people to wear should be placed in the church narthex (vestibule) so people can find them as they enter the church building. If there is a flower girl, she should have silk or other artificial petals -- not real flowers. Real flower petals stain the carpet and thus are not allowed in this church.

Flowers during Lent and Advent

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:21:18 -0600

Flowers in Advent and Lent: During the seasons of Advent and Lent, but particularly during Lent, floral arrangements are at a minimum, and the church is decorated in purple and violet colors. The entire tone of weddings during these liturgical seasons is somewhat subdued as well. Please keep this in mind when planning a wedding during these special liturgical times of the church year.

The Florist

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:15:25 -0600

The Florist: Ordinarily, the florist can come to set up about an hour before the wedding, due to other scheduled services in church. When there is more than one wedding on a given day, couples sometimes wish to choose flowers together and share the cost. The following parish regulations are designed to protect church furnishings as well as to promote a dignified celebration of the wedding rites.

Liturgy of the Word

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:27:53 -0600

The bride and groom select three appropriate Bible readings from this wedding handbook. Other translations may be used, with the prior approval of the priest or deacon. Before the wedding starts, the readers should sit near the organ, so they are near the pulpit for their readings. Later, they can join their families and friends in the pews when the people stand for the gospel reading, if they wish.

In section three of this wedding handbook, the regular set of scripture readings are provided. Please use the form at the end of this section to mark your preferences in preparation for your planning session with the priest or deacon.

Optional Rites ~ Unity Candle ~ Flowers to Mary ~ Flowers to Parents

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:29:49 -0600

Although not really part of the Catholic ritual as such, three optional rites may be incorporated into the ceremony after the final prayer but before the final blessing, at the discretion of the priest or deacon who is officiating at the ceremony:

A unity candle may be lighted by the bride and groom, at a small table to the side, but this would actually be more appropriate at the beginning of the wedding banquet in your reception hall.

Flowers may be presented to the parents by the bride and groom. Usually the bride and groom go to the bride=s parents first, then the groom=s parents. The groom usually gives the flower to the bride=s mother, and then the bride usually gives the flower to the groom=s mother.

The bride may present a bouquet at the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The groom should ideally escort the bride for this presentation of flowers.

Pew Ribbons and Aisle Runners

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 18:22:42 -0600

Pew Ribbons: If there are pew ribbons, they may not be taped to the pews or attached with wires which might scratch the finish of the pews. Rubber bands and plastic clips are acceptable. There are fifteen pews on the main aisle of the church.

Aisle Runners: If there is an (optional) aisle runner, it should be 90' long, and is obtained from a florist. Make sure it is securely fastened down in front and back. The runner must be securely in place at least five minutes before the start of the ceremony or Mass.

Music

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:32:19 -0600

At least two months before the actual wedding date, the couple meets with the music director to go over all the details of the music for the actual wedding ceremony. The music director will guide you in selections of music that are appropriate for use in church for your wedding. If you are considering musicians, vocal or instrumental, other than our parish music director, please speak to him about this at least four months before the wedding.

Religious Music: Music at weddings must be religious in nature due to the sacredness of the ceremony and the church setting. General secular love songs, although not appropriate for use in church, may be very well appropriate at your reception. A fine repertoire of appropriate religious music, traditional and modern, will be shared with couples at the time they meet with the parish music director.

Musicians: The standard procedure here is to employ one of our regular parish musicians, who are specially trained for the way wedding liturgies are celebrated in this parish. We may, however, in individual cases permit certain outside musicians to perform at weddings after we have interviewed them, at least over the phone. It is sometimes possible to use our staff musicians in conjunction with outside musicians to meet these criteria of acceptability. Fees for musicians are negotiated individually, and depend on the amount of music to be performed, the number of musicians, the need for rehearsal time, etc.

Receiving Lines

Tue, 2 Feb 2010 18:31:31 -0600

Having a receiving line at the church may make the receiving line at your reception redundant. We do not recommend it, therefore, at this time. However, it would be quite appropriate for the parents to wait at the church door to thank the guests for attending the Church portion of the total wedding celebration. During this time, the bride and groom may have their formal pictures taken at the altar. Once again, please tell your guests not to throw rice or birdseed, confetti, or anything else after weddings. No balloons may be brought into the worship space of the church beyond the vestibule. Bubbles are acceptable.

Recessional

Mon, 1 Feb 2010 18:31:09 -0600

The bride and groom are presented to the congregation and lead a procession out from the church into the narthex (vestibule). If there is no receiving line, they may go along the back pews to return to the front of the church for pictures via the side aisle. Or they may wait momentarily in the bridal room until the guests have left the church.

Removal of Decorations and Church Cleanup

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:24:40 -0600

Removal of Decorations / Church Cleanup: The ushers or other designated persons should help remove the decorations, such as the aisle runner, etc., after the wedding. They also should pick up anything dropped on the floor or left in the pews. Flowers may either be taken to the reception or be left behind for use in the church. Please let us know your preference in advance.

Rice and other thrown items

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 18:26:15 -0600

No Rice or anything that comes down: Please remember to tell your guests ahead of time not to throw any rice or bird seed, confetti, or anything else after the wedding is over. Soap bubbles do seem in vogue these days, and are acceptable outside only. Please remind the ushers to help take down your special wedding decorations after the wedding is over, and to restore the bridal room to the condition in which it was found before the wedding. Thank you for you help in this regard.